s e m - 9. 2009

Last semester - 9th Semester
Internship announcement.

First rotation (9/11-27/11)
It's Ipoh, Perak one more time. I was in Perak last year. Being stationed at two places for a month and a half - 2 weeks in Ipoh and a month in Batu Gajah. I've posted photos and stories from there last year. A memorable internship I'd say although we've done nothing more than providing entertainment.

Second rotation (30/11-18/12)
It's back to KL again for another three weeks until my Christmas break. I'll be placed in a nursing home. Either for the old aged or the disabled. I'm not sure which although nursing home usually refers to the old aged. It doesn't matter. What matters is that this time, I won't be as lucky as I used to compared to my previous semesters. This time, I won't be placed in hospitals doing REAL physiotherapy works. If you know what I mean.

Still, I think I shouldn't be so grim about it. As long as I learn something, right? But I'm not that grim also. I'm glad I'll be back to KL for Christmas. Although that actually meant nothing, I still feel kind of happy. What is that I'm looking forward to anyway? Christmas shopping???? :D I don't know. Or should I come out with a traveling plan like what I did last year to Pangkor? I don't know. Nothing really come to mind yet. I want to go Penang. But I wonder if I can afford that. Honestly, my family is having some financial problems. My top priority now is to relieve from all those financial burden - not to aggravate it. Let's hope for the best, shall we?

Needless to say, I'm in need of your prayers here, dear readers. I hope that my brain will continue to combust with ideas to write more creative writings - to continue my chapters until the end. I hope that my family will find their way around the financial bind they're having. I hope that this Christmas will be more meaningful than last year's (because last year's was very meaningful because I celebrated it with my patients in Batu Gajah). There's a lot of "I hope..." but what I really need is supports, motivations and prayers.

Thank you all for providing me with those all these years. A million thanks won't be suffice to say the least :)

c h a p t e r 4. 2009

Read Chapter 3 here.

The teapot is near boiling. And there he was, sitting there, so calmly as if he belongs there. Where is there? Gosh, it’s the pantry, for God’s sake. Only staff allowed here. Nobody else! Who is he?

As if in slow motion, he stood up and walked towards the whistling teapot. His strides were long and steady. Oh, I love it when a man knows his walk. Shit, did I actually think of that? Where did that come from? What’s wrong with me these days? Must be the hormones. I’m getting old. Hormones are getting suppressed involuntarily. I felt a slow chill ran through my spine. My skin pricked. Something’s not right. My eyes blurred. I can’t focus. Then suddenly, it kind of hit me. Oh my, I think I’m getting the “mating urge”. Oh my… Indeed.

I don’t know how long I stood by the unoccupied counter looking into the pantry, at the tall white shirt guy in the pantry making his tea. He looks strangely familiar. His strides, his expression – although all I could see from where I’m standing is his back – I made it up so it sounded more interesting. You can start smirking now. Back to him anyway. And his shoulder. The oh-so-broad shoulder to be exact. Where the shirt just made itself there. Where the cotton just sculpted itself around the shoulders. It just made me wish I can just touch it. Feel it. Oh dear God, I need help!

Then he just turned and all I saw was a pair of brown eyes looking back at me. Shit, it’s too late for me hide! I couldn’t just jerk away. That’ll be too obvious. I could feel my face gone aflame. A big shit this time. Then his eyes kind of smiled. I couldn’t take my eyes off them. So I tried to make my eyes smile too but instead, I think I looked like I winced because he started to walk towards me. I must make a run for it before things get embarrassing.

“Gabriela Clark,” someone called behind me. Suddenly the voice just hit me. I swear I stopped breathing. Slowly, I turn to look at the person behind me.

“Gabby! Don’t you recognize me anymore?” Just like the surprise he did the other night, there he is again. This time, he just takes into his liberty to actually materialize himself in front of me. Oh, he’s so cute! He’s tall too. And let’s not start with his shoulders. That damned broad shoulders that changed my fetish forever. Ok, maybe I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry. That should be censored.

“M… Marc… Err… Why? I said, I couldn’t find my voice so I had to pretend to cough, “Hmm, hi! What brings you here?” A plastic smile followed. It seems like everyone’s looking at me now. Luckily the counter provides a firm support. Or else, I would be floored by now.

“It’s not what. It’s who. And it’s you,” he laughed, “And it rhymes!” he laughed louder this time. More and more people starting to get more interested to know and hear more, it seems. Or so I thought. And you know what? I laughed along too. Hell if I know how I was supposed to respond. Even though I may look like a wimp laughing along with his rather lame remarks but I had to. I didn’t know what to say. I felt stupid (and has that ever changed?)

“Miss Clark?” this time, another voice called me from behind. This time, I had no idea who that was but his voice was strangely familiar.

“Yes!” I turned towards that voice. All I saw was the brown-eyed man holding a steaming cup of coffee. Those are long and nice looking fingers around the cup. A pair of silver cuff links and a nice white cotton shirt sleeve. Then I knew. It’s the guy from the pantry. It must be my face because he was smiling at me. I must have cringed or something.

“Gabby?” Marc, this time, “This is?” he started to ask and I could feel him approaching. Coming nearer and nearer towards me. I could smell his cologne. He smells expensive although I was going to sneeze pretty soon.

“Marc, I…” I looked at Marc and then looked at the pantry guy again. I couldn’t place his name. But where have I seen him before? I think I must have looked very lost because the pantry guy looked really embarrassed and involuntarily he touched his right jaw and a big loud bell rang in my head. OH MY GOD! That’s him. The guy whom I head butt the other day. Why is he here? And who is he making and drinking coffee (or was it tea?) in the pantry?

“I’m sorry, sir but I don’t think I get your name the other day?” I said to the oh-so-broad-shoulders guy (I’m referring to the same pantry guy, if you’re confused now). He just looked at me for a second too long and smiled again.

“It’s alright. Hmm, we’ll talk again soon. We shall not make your friend wait,” he just turned around and walked away like nothing happened. Well, nothing happened actually but I am pretty sure that “something” did happen before just now. I just don’t know what that was.

“Who’s that, Gab? Your supervisor? Am I not allowed to be here? I walked in and nobody stopped me. Am I bothering you now? I know you’re at work,” he smiled and talked and more smiles. I don’t know which I should be focusing on now.

“Marc, he is… Hmm, well, I… It’s Ok. Never mind. Tell me, Marc, is there anything I can help you with?” and I stammered. Hell, this is hell! I couldn’t concentrate on what I’m trying to say. I was (and I wished I am still) being sandwiched by two gorgeous and absolutely charming hunks. I just couldn’t get off mid air. That’s all I can describe to you now. I can’t feel anything below knees. They made my legs turned jello.

“Gabby, it is lunch time! Don’t you want to have lunch with me?” he said in his mischievous voice. I know his many voices. He can just twirl you around his fingers with his many voices. That’s how powerful he is with his charms. But I guess I was never twirled by him because, Ok, let’s just say I don’t particularly excel in the sexy-lady-with-crazy-plastic-boobs-and-Pamela-Anderson’s-crooning-voice department. He used to call me his “brother”. Let’s not go there.

I look at my watch and it is half past noon. It is lunch time for office people but I don’t work in office. I don’t work normal shifts. I can only go for lunch when my boss is back from her own-timed-lunch. And guess what? My boss is still out, since yesterday. She didn’t come in this morning so I had to take over her cases. She’s the boss anyway. Life hasn’t done me well so far. And now this…

“But I can’t go. I packed lunch. I don’t eat out for lunch. Plus, I can’t go for lunch today. My boss is not in so I had to take her job. I’m… err, I’m sorry Marc. I wish I could but… It’s just bad timing,” I said franticly while making a award winning performance of hand movements. That’s what I do when I get really nervous and didn’t know what else can be done.

“Oh…,” he looked at me blankly for a second and as realization hit him, his face lit up suddenly and he said, “It’s alright. I’ll pack something and you give me buzz when you’re going to have your lunch. I’ll be around the neighborhood today because I’ve things to do around here so I can join you anytime. I’ll be here, alright Gab?” he said purposely, like he won’t accept “No”.

“Oh… Ok then. I’ll give you buzz later, alright?” I said and smiled, awkwardly of course.

“Yup, you do that. I’ll be waiting. See you later,” Marc said and as he walked towards the entrance, I noticed that a few of my colleagues are lustfully watching his every movement and strides. I know what they have in mind. Marc has that kind of power towards women and he knew it. And he uses it unabashedly.

That’s Marc. I still wonder why he suddenly came back and said Hi. Out of the blue, a lunch together? A call? Out of nowhere? Somehow, my guts telling me all of this isn’t something good. But what can he actually gain from all this? I really wonder. Or maybe I’ve wondered too loud and I could hear a small cough behind me.

I stood straighter and turned towards the cough. And suddenly my petite boss (Oh by the way, her name is Lily and she is actually my supervisor – not exactly a real boss) is standing behind the counter I was so comfortably leaning on just a moment ago.

“You can have lunch if you want to,” Ouch. That was sarcastic.

“Ah… No, I’m fine,” A plastic smile on my face which matched her Botox-face and off I go, towards where my patients are stationed for their next treatment. Totally forgot about the pantry guy.

b u t. 2009

24th October 2009
Goodbye, Miri.

Again...

I've looked through my old entries about packing and going back KL. It was all sighing and bitterness. Sometimes I do wish I can be a bit more cool. But unfortunately, I'm just as emo as I wish I'm not. Like Percival always say, "Lefty". I just can't help but agree. We're just so messed up, aren't we?

We always act like we're cool. People around us think we're cool. We thought we're cool. But when emo comes, darn, we're the most emo person you just find yourself unable to believe it. Like now. But like what I wrote on my Facebook awhile ago, I just told myself not to think about being unhappy. Let's be mature and step up to be a "real" cool person.

I'll be brave.
I'll smile.
I'll wave them goodbye.
I'll make sure they know I'm fine.
I'll make sure I'm fine.

I know I've been away for three years. Three years is not a short time. It isn't a long time too. It's a duration of time long enough to learn about a new place. To adapt but not long enough to make me feel attach to it. And honestly, it is never easy to say goodbye. Especially to those you know you'll miss dearly.

I'm glad I was home. Now I've recharged. It's time to work :) This one month break gave me a lot of time to spend with my family. I'm glad I found time to meet up with Woei, Chin, Chew Ming, Allysa, Hua Dak, Jason, Lee, Mei Wei and some others which I met at Jennifer's wedding. At the same time, I was given sufficient time to make plans for the future. I'm glad. I hope in their eyes, I'm still the same.

But do you think I've changed? Perhaps, there's some changes here and there.

But...

I hope I'm still me.

*Going back to KL means I won't have the freedom to online anymore. I'll try to update my blog as often as I can. I'm sorry if I'm unable to be as active. I wish I could but I hope you all understand. Take care all of you. Do drop your comments or say Hi. It'll make me very happy :)

o r c h a r d. 2009

11th October 2009
Orchard Trip, Lambir.

I went to a supposedly fruit buffet but it was actually a durian buffet. Di and I thought we could have manggis buffet. Too bad that day, they only offered durian :( Anyway, I better save my breath and let the photos speak for themselves.

An insect posed for me.

Di posed for me too ^.-

After hours of off road driving, we finally got there. I was quite surprised because the orchard was quite commercialized. Better than nothing :D

Jambu air.

Durian king! Actually bigger than his head. This guy is one of the people who came together with us. I followed Di's girlfriend's family to this trip. So most of the people who came with us were a member of Di's church.

Manggis. Too bad, it wasn't ripe. A big disappointment :(

But these uncles really durian fanatics. They just couldn't stop picking up dropped durians.

Di and I spotted this idle trolley.

And gave Di the idea to... LOL

But everyone else was too busy looking at the durians to bother us LOL

Look at that small hill of durian skin =.=

Rambutan.

More durian.

Generator. My family in Sibu used to have this. Nostalgic :)

Ayam kampung.

Snake skin.

Palm tree.

Branches.

Langsat.

Bazooka from above!

Dabai - local olives.

Dragon fruit tree.

Ducks.

Pineapple.

A rest stop.

After that, we walked into their orchid farm.

White.

Yellow.

Beige.

Red.

Tadpoles.

Lavender.

Pots.

Smoky.

And we're heading home. I can't say I'm having great fun but I was given a opportunity to take nice photos.

h o m e f o o d. 2009

Home cooked food - Haven for weary soul.

I love to come home to have home cooked food. I don't know. When I came back to Miri, I eat most meals at home. When Dad wasn't free to cook lunch, I'd prepare lunch at home. I didn't even feel like eating out. I always believe that food is important to keep a person at their best. Food plays important part in keeping a person at their best. But most people misused food as a venting channel. To me, food heals. It almost has a spiritual value in it. I don't know how to explain this. But being home, eating home cooked food, my weary soul kind of restores itself. But of coz, you can't beat religion la =.= So, please don't get too cook up over this.

When I'm in KL, I eat at home too. I cook at the hostel because eating out takes a toll on my budget. But the food I eat there is just like a fuel to make me work, not to satisfy me. I'm more like a robot. Eat to work. Food to me has no value there.

Home food is different. Dad cooks it "dengan penuh kasih sayang." And some evenings, my parents even "bergaduh kasih" in the kitchen while preparing dinner. So, food prepared with both heart and love gives different effects on everyone us - I'm no different. That's the reason why I always complain I'm fat when I'm in KL but when I'm back Miri, I just eat and smiled widely when people say I'm fat LOL

Di loves my mash potato :) I learned this from KahLi.

I add in some twist of my own.

My sister loves the pasta I cooked. I prefer Prego because it's easy and quick to prepare :D

After the mashing... It' all creamy and yummy!

Di and Brat never get bored of this.

Perfect.

Hearty.

My parents become very experimental nowadays. They learned how to make this spring rolls themselves and honestly, they tastes better than the one we bought in town :)

When we're lazy to eat anything fancy, we would eat steamboat.

You can buy a varieties of frozen products in town.

Assorted meat and fish balls.

Deep fried pork.

Deep fried shallots.

Dad's favorite.

This is the sour plum sambal. Great appetizer :D

No wonder I gained weight LOL Who wouldnt??? :P

s h a r e. 2009

During the Mooncake Festival, we had a big family dinner at my Grandma's house. Some of my relatives couldn't join us because they had other commitments elsewhere. It didn't bother us. We had fun anyway. Steamboat was really the best dinner option. Easy to prepare, easy to eat and all you need to do is just sit around the pot and wait. Kind of bring everyone to the table. Too bad the hot weather here didn't really make people want to sit too close to each other LOL

The moon was exceptionally amazing that night.

***

Beside the Mooncake Festival thingy going on, Dad had his Chinese Lunar birthday too. Oh yeah, my parents get to celebrate their birthdays twice a year because well, they "suang la" LOL So this is considered Dad's first birthday this year because the birth date stated in his birth certificate will be at the end of the year. But I won't be around that time so it's also a good thing they have two birthdays :P

I bought him a nice fruit cocktail cake because he said he's too old to be fancy about cakes. I thought maybe I could slot in a surprise for him while he does his usual car-check after dinner. But while I was rushing to get the cake ready to surprise him at the living room, suddenly he appeared next to me in the kitchen. I just winked and smiled - nervously, of coz because pecah rahsia liaw ma. He just walked by coolly (control handsome la, obviously).

Then he walked back to me and said, "Why didn't I see that in the fridge just now?" and sneak a peek at the cake. Then he looked at Di and said, "Thank you ah. Better than Father's day punya cake!" I was laughing out loud LOL Because Di really did a stupid thing for Dad's Father's day surprise. Di actually asked Dad to collect his Father's Day cake at the cake shop LOL That's why he was very sarcastic when he thanked Di :P

Look at the birthday boy. He already light the candle himself, made his wish and even pulled out the candle while getting ready to cut the cake. All done before I could say "Wait!!!" LOL Excitednya LOL

One of the favorite thing to eat during Mooncake Festival - Boiled peanuts.

I love toast. Especially the burnt ones :P

Fruit is a must at home. Keeps everyone healthy :)

Our own homegrown rambutans. High quality!

Di in action. Still among the pots.

Curry rice. Yum!!

Old photos. My dad's family photo.

That's us.

The porch without MyVi.

Knob.

Lines.

Through.

Vivid.

These are some test shots done after the new furniture being moved in. Need to practice my photography skills too. I'm getting rusted.

c h a n g e. 2009

This holiday, my parents did some furniture shopping. Well, I think it's time for us to change the "feng shui" of our house. It's been like this for as long as I can remember. A change will be nice.

After spending hours at the furniture shop, we finally got a house filled with new wood. And you know what, it did give me a feeling as if we've just moved into a new house or something like that LOL

This is the back before the new furniture got in.

This is Di's work desk. Quite kesian considering he has to share space with all the pots LOL

All the old furniture out!!!

The moving begins. Oh ya, that man at the far end is Dad. Not some half naked movers LOL

As we were moving those old furniture out, I was busy watching Ellen Degeneres show too :P

These are my treasures. Books and more books. Waiting for their new shelves. I was so excited about it too. It's like my dream came true :D

Tadaaa... My bookshelf!!!! I'm so happy!!!

And the house looks as good as new :D

My bedroom looks more organized too.

My dream came true indeed :)

n e w s e a h o r s e. 2009

New Seahorse.

Opposite SMK Chung Hua, Miri.

Although it had been opened since last year if I'm not mistaken but I had never been there. It looked kind of posh compared the old one. But last night, I went there with Chin and Ming and to be honest, it was like love at first sight. Or should I say, "love at first step" LOL Whatever it is, I know it'll be my next very frequent hangout place from now on.

After sunset, Allysa and Chin joined me for a cosy dinner here. Allysa came here quite often. She prefers here than the old place. For me, it's more about convenience because this branch is nearer to my house so of course, I'm loving it.

It has the posh look. Rather than the al fresco type from the old ones.

The more polished look draw a lot of family crowd here. Nice music and the food is quite affordable. The big glass of Iced Lemon Tea never ceased to make me happy LOL

Chin and Allysa.

And if you come here, you MUST try their chicken wing!!!! They are TO-DIE for :D

m a r i n a b a y. 2009

18th October 2009

Marina Bay, Miri.

Miri's sunset is (by far, still) the best!

I know I always say that but you need to be "here" to know why I never change my mind. I know there are other places in the world that has nicer and more awesome sunsets but since I can have one that is (almost) at my doorstep, why would I want to ask for more?

Three of my dear friends (Allysa, Chin and Woei) decided to join me for a sunset hunt trip. Actually, I was supposed to meet up with some of my former Form 6 classmates after sunset trip but none of them confirmed anything so Allysa and I thought we should watch the sunset. This was actually my first time watching sunset from Marina Bay. I was surprised to find that it was as amazing as Luak Esplanade (with some certain twists).

Let the photos tell you their stories.

Test shot. My mom got this from Macau. They call this 香包.

The wooden bridge.

Going to the observatory decks.

Chin with Lay's chips I bought from Brunei. Darn cheap if you buy from Brunei LOL

Chin, Allysa and Woei.

The very cloudy sky. I thought I wasn't going to see the sunset at all. Little did I know...

Bad angle (I know) but there wasn't much space left for me to stand also. Hehe...

The sun suddenly came out of the clouds. Trying to be seen...

While waiting patiently, I found some anchored ships in the deep sea. They must be enjoying the sunset too...

Then a group of people decided to "curi" my spot.

I kind of love this photo. A bit candid actually because she wasn't really ready yet :) More natural.

Then suddenly the sky lit up.

Then the sky was filled with colors...

The colors are so vivid that you wished you could just touch them.

Even Woei was being blown away.

Then the sky became soooo breathtakingly beautiful, I just feel sooooo at peace.

The sky itself carried me...

Even Seahorse didn't look lonely at all...

Woei said she felt so relaxed. The beautiful sky, the wondrous sunset and the tingling sea breeze. What else could you ask for?

The climax.

The colors slowly fading away.

Saying their goodbyes to all those who were gathered to witness the wonders of life.

w i n k. 2009

As the days are drawing near, I found myself unable to sleep. Not even a wink. I’m tired. But I just couldn’t sleep. Am I doing this deliberately? I think I can only half admit that I do it on purpose. I find sleeping a waste of time. But what else people do when they can’t sleep? Or in my case, “they don’t want to sleep?” Well, it’s a very easy answer. They think.

Actually, I love it when I think. I used to think I’m stupid because many things that I did in my life was careless mistakes. What are careless mistakes? Well, some people interpret it as “mistakes done when you do things without thinking.” So yeah, I used to think I don’t have the ability to “think”. So when I start to “think”, I feel good about myself. Honestly.

But at times, especially now that I’m having a hard time coping with the fact that I’m leaving soon (again), thinking kind of sucks. Because the more you think about it, the more things will come and corrupt the mind. You’ll start telling yourself many things that would probably make you feel a lot unhappier than the other way round. And usually when you start to think about things like this, chances is that you’ll become more awake than sleepy. This is where the insomnia starts. Which of course, means the beginning of a new chapter with a word that starts with F – not Fed up – it’s Frustration.

I have a weird habit. I love to talk to myself. It’s what I’d love to call “thinking out loud”. My housemates and roommate saw me do that some times. Especially when I’m being left alone doing my own stuff, say, reading a novel. So when Frustration starting to take over, I’ll start thinking out loud. It’s Okay when it happens once in awhile. But after “awhile”, it kind of gets to me. That’s when Depression looms over. Well, do you know what else comes after Depression knocked? It’s easy to figure out, really. It’s all you can think about… Big chance is you’ll probably feel (it may not come in aforementioned orders)…

Hopeless
Pathetic
Loneliness
Emptiness
Sadness
Anger
Etc...

Those of you who disagreed with me, well, you should congratulate yourself for a very healthy state of mind. No point in arguing your point with me because this is a rather subjective topic. I’m not trying to make a connection with those who don’t share my issues, I prefer to keep that privilege to those who are struggling the same issues as me.

At times, I’m at loss of words. Even to myself. Sometimes, I have Depression for no reason. That’s when it hurts the most because I couldn’t figure out what causes it. It could be a minor trigger which I missed. It could be anything and it sucks to have to find from A to Z. And trust me, it’s not easy. Because without a cause, you can’t solve anything at all. But Depression is not easy to tackle because it’ll lead to many other disorders that will not only maim your life but destroy you altogether. And because I want my life to mean something, I won’t give up. I never stop finding ways to battle Depression. So, it never bothered me in “real life”. It only bothers me when I can’t sleep. Like now.

But tonight, I’ve had a special moment. I talked. Not to myself. Not tonight. I talked to a friend. I listened and I talked. We talked. We listened. It felt good. I know that didn’t solve anything. I merely felt good. It didn’t mean I’ve tackled Depression. Honestly, if you think it is that easy, all we need is a friend, we don’t even need asylum. But it felt good. Depression kind of deflected on its own. All because I felt good. How can you feel Depress when you feel good?

I think I just found some ways to help me stay away from Depression. Nobody heals from Depression. Nobody is safe from it. I was stupid enough when I was younger to let Depression took over me. It took me years to battle over it. I’m still battling it. It’s a lifelong battle. So those who are having the same problem as I do, don’t be afraid to reach out. And those who think they are living a Depression-free life, count your blessings. I may not be there for you when Depression comes looming at you. But I hope that you’re all prepared to fight it before it gets to you. Don’t say there’s nothing you can do. Alternatives are everywhere. If you say there’s nothing that’ll help, it’s only because you haven’t look for it. Blogging is one. It works for me. But there are so many possibilities in life.

Never give up. And never think it’s too late.

Because truth is, nobody is entitled to tell anybody it is too late.

*Thank you Allysa. You may not think you've done a lot. But trust me, you've done enough. Enough to make me think about sleep. Enough to make me stop thinking. At least, for now. It's better than nothing.

f a c e s h o p. 2009

The Faceshop.
The Mall, Gadong.

This is a well known brand from Korea. The guy from Winter Sonata is their long time spokeperson. Before this, it was the hunk from Stairway To Heaven. I bet you know all of them. If you consider yourself a healthy lusty woman, you must know them. Well, I shouldn't be harsh. But I know you know them.

Coming to Brunei, I usually don't bring any shopping list. Many people come here to shop for branded stuff because it's cheaper than Msia price and one more important point is, you're guaranteed with a REAL (not CIPLAK) branded stuff. Almost everything you buy in Brunei is original. This is their country's policy. That's why I love Brunei when comes to that LOL

Things that I've got for myself. Women should always be ready to fight all kinds of skin conditions. I'm not excluded :)

Rice water cleansing foam.

A sample pack.

Pore minimizing kit. I bought the essense and they gave me a sample pack of the whole kit for free. Oh, I'd love to go back there again :D

This cotton is also another freebie from them. Gosh, I'm starting to love them a lot. But we'll wait until I've tried the items I bought to confirm my love then. Hehe...

k i m c h i. 2009

KimChi Restaurant, Kiulap.
Opposite the newly opened Escapade Sushi in Kiulap.

We came here for dinner. We were quite apprehensive about going into this restaurant at first because it looked really empty and posh from the outside. Only when we got in then we heard the chatters and clatters of plates and metal chopsticks LOL

The menu are all affordable although I'd rank them as above average. It's da same as you eat Escapade Sushi with a group of 4 to 5 person. Three of us ordered the combo of BBQ and steamboat. It was a portion made for three person and more. We asked the waitress if the portion is small and she told us it is enough. But knowing Bruneians, they're usually very generous with their portions. That's their best trait :D Then again, come here if you've fasted for 3 days 3 nights LOL

Their grills. For both BBQ and steamboat. Very Korean-like.

This one is for VIP.

The compulsory side dishes.

First entree - chicken.

Rice is a must. Very authentic Korean food.

The lamb...

Wrapped the grilled meat with lettuce. Put some onion leaves and a bit of sauce. Put the whole thing in your mouth and trust me, that's the best Korean foodie experience you can have out of Korea LOL

The seafood.

This is for our part 2 - Steamboat.

They provide very top quality customer service.

Our steamboat. How I wish it was snowing outside.

I couldn't eat anymore. I was sooooo bloated, I couldn't even sit straight. Luckily the other two guys had enough capacity to finish the important stuff LOL

Their ground floor section.

If you want food that worth your money and to enjoy a meal with a good company, come here. There's more to Brunei foodie experience than the ever-so-popular Escapade Sushi :D

r m s. 2009

15th October 2009
RMS Diner, Kuala Belait.

It's a bistro that opens for lunch and dinner. If you're familiar with KL, I think you must know the dining place called Grills in KLCC and other major shopping malls as well. It's almost the same quality type of food. The only thing lacks is no liquor sold. It's completely and utterly and legally halal LOL I have nothing much to complain or comment about this place. I'll let the photos show you the way :)

Me with the menu. I didn't know what to eat. I don't usually eat western food for lunch.

Mint chocolate craze.

Their cowboy themed menu.

Coffee club.

Great ambiance. I'd love to hang out here at night with friends.

Royal treatment - beef patties, slices of bacon, double up with cheese, Dijon mustard, fresh lettuce with tomatoes and a fried egg in one burger. Fit for a king!!!

Mine - Domenico's lamb burger. I had hard time finishing this burger off. I'm just lucky I didn't have to try the one fit for a king LOL

c o m b o. 2009

There are some things I forgot to blog about after my trip to Melaka. I bought a few essential items when I was at Jonker's street. I know I didn't update it here in my blog but I did in my Facebook. And those of my readers who don't have my Facebook, it's alright. You can always check in Woei's blog. I didn't do so then because I was still in KL and internet was (still is) expensive. So, I had to plan my budget properly when comes to internet.

So here's some of items I cannot live without nowadays :)

LeSportSac sling bag. Of coz, this is a pasar malam quality. Still, at least it's correcly spelled and not LeSportac or LeSpocter LOL So, I'm glad I got it at a rather affordable price. Love it a lot. Since buying the original ones is impossible, this will be enough to make me smile widely.

My cute little purse. My mom was shocked when I showed her. I'm sure she couldn't believe I'm carrying this kind of cartoonish purse. Even Brat laughed at me. Di laughed even louder. Chin was shocked LOL Who cares? I'm happy ma...

A nice combo, don't you think?

A friend of mine thought I was only 20 years old. And he couldn't believe the truth when I told him. Before I asked him to guess my age, he was toying with my bags and purse. He even said, "Your bag and purse very cute la." But I think these cuties blinded him LOL That's why he couldn't handle the truth about my age. It's ok. I'm totally flattered LOL I don't mind being mistaken as 20 at all!!!! LOL

b r u n e i - o c t. 2009

14th October 2009

Revving up the lonely road.
Brunei, are you ready?
Here I come...

g o r g e o u s. 2009

10th October 2009

Citrus, Miri.

Before coming for my limteh session with Ko at Citrus, I was at Jennifer's wedding. The wedding was amazing but I was stupid enough to forget my camera. When I got there, I was seated next to Ann. Gosh, the last time I saw her was ages ago and she never changed. She's still as petite as ever. When am I going to be like her? Petite? LOL Dream on...

And sitting on my right was the photographer for the whole wedding, a man named Ian whom I used to know when I was working in SFC way back then. Miri is that small. He said I looked familiar and that actually made me think of where I could have known him. It was SFC (although I'd love to think that all men find me "look-very-familiar" after being pretty-ed up) LOL I left the wedding dinner early because I was starting to feel really cold and runny nose. But Ko insisted that we meet up because I needed to get Di's laptop from him. It was just for awhile anyway and a hot drink will keep my shivering at bay for a bit. Luckily Ko brought his camera along and took some shots of me.

Me: Ko, how do I look? (while putting my bag in front of my face)

Ko: Ling, put down that bag... You look gorgeous.

I looked at him. I laughed because he was being honest. Jason said I should look at myself more in front of the mirror. He said I've changed for a good cause. KahLi said I'm more confident now after seeing my most recent display picture on MSN. I'm very happy to hear that from all of you. But I hope that no matter how much I've changed bit by bit, I'll still be me - the cheery and funny-for-no-reason-at-all Esther.

So let me cut all the talks and show you some of the nice photos that Ko took. But I'll let you be the judge. And I guess by now you know which dress I was allowed to borrow from Woei. Love you girl. You're the best! :)

What do you think?

Woei said my eyes needed attention - dramatic eyes, she calls it.

My hair needs more volume and messiness in it. I guess I have to be more flexible.

Many people asked me where I get my hair rebonded. And when I told them it's natural, most people don't believe it. I'm naturally born with straight hair. It's one of the many blessings in my life that I never lost count :)

All thanks to:-
Venue: Citrus, Miri.
Dress and make up: Woei.
Photographer: Cyril (Ko).

*Ps to KahLi: I hope the next time, you'll be my photographer.

0 6 1 0. 2009

6th October 2009

Woei' house, Permyjaya and Al Fresco.

After meeting Woei several times before this actual meeting, we finally made a date to meet up properly at Al Fresco. We went to her house at Permy to choose some dresses she thinks I might fit into. I'm not that small size anyway. So, she's my best candidate. The only thing I'm lacking is her height LOL So those dresses look absolutely amazing on her because of her long legs, but I look like a midget wearing them LOL But who cares, right? I have no choice. I'm not willing to spend money to buy one. So I have to borrow. That's my best shot, really.

So here's some dresses I tried.

Deep purple. New dress. She never wore this before. She just got this one herself.

Grey number. I chose this one actually because it has a simple look to it.

Little black dress with white details. Another of her new dress. She planned to wear this for her friend's wedding next weekend. So, which dress do you think I wore for Jennifer's wedding??? Guess!!!

And she even decided how I'd look like on that day...

I think I'm ready to hit the floor that would make me suffocate in panic attack. I never go out looking any different than how I already am. This is the first time. Ohhh, anxiety attack is second on tow as well... Grrr...

c h a p t e r 0 3. 2009

To read Chapter 1, click here. For Chapter 2, click here.

“Mom, I’m fine. Don’t worry. I’m doing just fine here,” and I know I don’t sound convincing at all. How I wish the day would end better. Last I checked, the phone call lasted only ten minutes. Outside the window, a distant thunder was heard. I bet on all my armpit hair (it’s not that I need them anyway) that the rain will reach here in about an hour or so. I better get myself washed up and be ready for bed even though I know it is quite unconventional for me to sleep before 11pm. Even I’m surprised with myself. It’s not the first time anyway.

My phone rang when I was in the shower. I’m not really a phone person so whenever my phone rang, I usually (it has become a habit actually) ignore them unless it’s emergency. How do I know if there’s emergency? Well, that person would call back a few times (like duh! – Okay, I should stop being lame. I’m not good at being a bimbo altogether).

It was still ringing when I walked out of my bathroom all dripping wet. So I reached for it, threading my way slowly because I don’t want to slip and fall bum-first on the tiles. That’s going to hurt, plenty. Been there done that – accidentally, of coz. I had no idea how long it had been ringing so I answered as soon as I’ve got the phone.

“Hello,” I said. My voice sounded hoarse and raspy from the all the steam and scalding water from the shower. Not sexy at all. I made a small cough.

“Hi,” the caller was quiet for like a second as if deliberating whether to proceed or not.

“Hmm, yes? Who’s this?” I asked and suddenly I realized I answered the phone without checking for the caller ID.

“Hmm, I’m asking for you, Gabby. How can you not remember my voice?” he said and I could hear a note of annoyance. Well, a smile too, in fact.

Suddenly, the voice becomes very familiar. I almost dropped my phone and I could feel a slow chill ran down my spine – not in the horror movie kind of way. It’s more like a good healthy way. I couldn’t find my voice for awhile. Luckily in my stand-still-stunned state, I could still hold my towel around my chest tightly. Even if it dropped, it was no matter because there wasn’t anyone at home.

“God, Marc! Good God, is that really you, Marc?” I asked loudly. The ceiling and walls echoed my voice back to me – loud and clear.He laughed his very throaty laugh. The kind of laugh where you would get sucked into as well. The kind of laugh that pulled you to him and convinced you that you really made him happy. The kind of laugh that made me still loved him until this day. It took me a few seconds to relax myself because my toes were all curled up in pleasure of that very familiar laughter.

“Of course it’s me, Gabby!” Oh, I love the way he calls me – just like how you taste the wine and let it roll on your tongue – Okay, enough being intriguing.

We talked for half an hour. Updating each other about what’s happening in our lives and what’s not. He then told me that he’d be in town for six months because he just signed a new contract with his new company in town. At first, I thought maybe I could offer him accommodation while looking for his own. Anybody would need time to set up before really settling down. But I missed the fact that he’s a really big shot person in his company so they already got him a house (mind, not a shared room like me) and also a car for his use (and there I was so bragging about having a big-shot monthly bus card).

“It’s cool to have bus cards! I miss those days when we needed that like we need air now,” and his laughter rang through the phone, again. If I could save his laughter, I would. Especially when I’m having my hormonal problems each month – well, you know, the “one” that all men said they couldn’t understand women having. Not the one that blew their heads off, really. If you know what I mean.

My ear pricked from the long chat over the phone. Usually, I’d run for my ear phone but not tonight. I even stood up while chatting. I usually walked into my room to chat. But not tonight. I was that stunned. I didn’t want the magic to disappear so I was afraid to move even an inch. Afraid it might take away the feeling I’m savoring now.

“Why don’t we meet up? Now that I’m around, we can hang out like how we used to. You in your usual cheery face and smile that brightens all days,” Oh, I love it when he said that and he always say that. Mind you, how could I ever forget? Could you? Hah.

“Of course, I don’t mind at all but I’m busy most days during the weekdays. I know you’re busy too but it’s more convenient if we meet up on weekends,” I said in my most cheery voice. Yeah, I have many ranges of voices if you’re interested to know. Everyone does. Don’t even try to deny that. It’s a fact.

“Convenient? Wow, Gabby, you’ve grown up! The more reason to meet up,” he stopped mid sentence, letting the word sinks in. It didn’t feel right to cut in so I waited for him, anticipate what kind of surprise that is him.

“Gabby,” he asked in a very unfamiliar voice. I’ve never heard him calling me in that tone before. It sounded so tender. I had to strain my ear to listen but I didn’t ask him to say it again. I know better to spoil the mood. My heart was racing. I could hear them pounding in my ears. Yup, it’s the usual novelty and trust me, I don’t like to admit this but it could all really happen in milliseconds. Altogether. No wonder I find breathing a bit ragged after awhile.

“Are you there, Gabby?” he asked, again in his very unfamiliar and tender voice.

“Y…Yes,” I answered breathlessly. Shit, what the hell is wrong with me?

“I missed you. That’s why I called. But now I realized that I really miss you. Do you hear me? I couldn’t believe I just said that to you, Gabby,” he said. I could hear a smile behind those words. He was smiling and talking at the same time. Could he be blushing too? Like how I am now after hearing those words from him – of all people. This is Marc we’re talking about here. The Prom King of my senior year. The King of all Schoolboys. The Dream of all Schoolgirls. And here he is, saying he missed and still is missing (really missing, if I must add) me. Wow, I couldn’t believe this is happening to me.

I laughed awkwardly but I tried to sound as normally as I can. Well, I had to act adult, don’t I? I can’t be all hysterical and laughed out loud. He might just hang up for all I know.

“I’m happy to hear that, Marc,” I sounded really mature, surprising myself.

“Alright, does Friday night sounds good to you?” he asked, again, the words sounds like he was smiling through them.

“Of course. Friday night it is then,” I was practically smiling so broadly, it could cut my face in two.

“Goodnight, Gabby. I can’t wait to see you and I know I’ll call you again because I know I couldn’t wait until Friday night to talk again,” he said in his most tender voice. I almost melted like cheese on toast. My legs really did feel wobbly. Maybe it was the cold. I’m still in my towel anyway. Dripping wet from the shower if you need a reminder.

“Sure thing. Goodnight. Bye!” I hung up before he could say his goodbye because I know there will be no end to it.

I held the phone tightly on my chest. I couldn’t believe what just happened. My mom called earlier worrying about how my life had ended up in this place where I could never call home. They couldn’t understand the fact that this profession I’ve landed myself into isn’t available at just about anywhere. They couldn’t understand that so I didn’t feel obliged to make them understand either.

I think I must have stood there for a long time before I came to my senses. I jumped at my own reflection from the window directly in front of me. This time, the towel really dropped and when I bent down to retrieve it, I really fell bum-first on the tiles. But it didn’t hurt at all. I know it’ll leave a big bruise but who cares? I’m swooning. Nothing hurts anymore, for now.